So maybe I am crazy after all…

So I came across this interesting piece of information today: “From a mental health point of view, up to 1 in 5 women who experience miscarriage have anxiety levels similar to people attending psychiatric outpatient services, and up to a third of women attending specialist clinics as a result of miscarriage are clinically depressed”  I thought this was very interesting because over the past 2 years I have found myself so much more anxious over many things that have nothing to do with miscarriage or infertility.  I find myself up in the middle of the night thinking about the most random crap and wondering why I am worrying about it so much and at 2 o’clock in the morning!

A fellow fertility friend of mine told me about her friend who wrote his thesis statement on couples going through infertility treatments and asked her how she didn’t go f***ing nuts!  And it is true…how do we not go crazy??  Or maybe we are crazy but God forbid should someone point that out because they might get punched in the face.

I often times think I might be just a little crazy for continuing on this journey after everything I have been through.  Who else in their right mind would willingly keep getting pregnant after so many losses or  pump themselves full of hormones and go through torturous procedures just to get pregnant?   Over and over gain no less!

The worst part about all of this is that miscarriage and infertility are such taboo subjects that no one really talks about.  So many of us are just suffering in silence.  I am very fortunate to have found a therapist that specializes in working with woman going through infertility and miscarriage and have also found a really great support group through Resolve.  I also have a great network of friends who have gone through similar struggles but I wouldn’t have found these people unless I started talking about it.

When I think back to those statistics I read today, it made me realize just how deep this effects us from a mental health stand point.  It also makes me very sad for all of those who are going through this on their own without a support system.  I know first hand the levels of anxiety associated with miscarriage and the levels of grief and depression that one goes through when suffering from a miscarriage and no one should go it alone.  One of the reasons I started this blog was to connect with others and if I was able to reach even just one person and make them feel like they are not alone than that will be one less person out there suffering all alone.  I remember how relieved I felt when I talked to someone about my struggles for the first time because I knew that I wasn’t alone and that everything I felt was normal.  IF you are going through this alone, I encourage you to find others to talk with and find a support group or therapist who can help.  You wouldn’t tell someone who was going through a major depression to just buck up and get over it right?  As I wrote earlier, the Resolve website is a great resource and can help you find a support group in your area.  Also the Psychology Today website is a website you can use to help find a therapist in your area.

I say if they really want to punish people in prison…put them through infertility treatments.  Pump them up real good with hormones and then make them think they are getting out in two weeks and then when their two week wait is over let them know they are not in fact getting out of prison or give them hopeful updates every 2-3 days and then tell them 8 weeks later they are not getting out.  And then just keep doing this over and over again.  I bet our crime rates would go way down!

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8 thoughts on “So maybe I am crazy after all…

  1. Thanks for sharing this! It is so amazing how much infertility and miscarriage effects people. I think this is why it is so important that we all share our story and help bring awareness to this issue so that people are noot suffering in silence.

  2. The last paragraph of this post is brilliant. What a perfect analogy! This is such a tough battle. But like you I started this blog to hopefully help others going through this feel not so alone, and to connect with others. A good support system is so key!

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