…I will have my first ultrasound to make sure there is “something in my uterus”. I have been pretty calm this last week…well calm might be a stretch but more calm than in the past we will say. I have felt like complete CRAP the last week and a half and it’s only been getting worse…I am hoping and praying this is a good sign as I have NEVER felt like this in any of my previous pregnancies. So I will gladly feel like I have a never ending hangover and feel like I am going to be sick before and after I eat if that means everything is ok. I have had a couple of panic moments with the most recent one being a few minutes ago. So I thought I would list out ALL of my worries and maybe that will make me feel better.
This is what I am worried about at the moment and these are in no particular order…just how they pop into my head as I type:
What if they don’t see anything tomorrow and my hcg has dropped?
What if they do see something tomorrow and hopes continue to go up and then crash 1-3 weeks from now?
What if I have a blighted ovum?
What if there are more than one somethings to be seen?
What if I have another miscarriage and it’s the first week of school?
What if I have another miscarriage at 7-8 weeks and I have Back to School Night?
What if my “symptoms” are all in my head?
What if we see another heartbeat and then it disappears again the following week?
What if by some miracle I make it past the 12 week magic mark but then something happens later?
What if I get bad news tomorrow and then have to go into work because it’s only the 2nd day of school l and I can’t call out?
What if I make it to full term and my baby has an awful condition where it only lives for a short time?
I am sure there are a million other things I could type but I think this is a good start for now. Saying lots of prayers for tomorrow!!
*UPDATE 5w4d- the ultrasound showed a gestational sac and yolk sac AND I am measuring 1 day AHEAD at 5w5d. Bloodwork all looks great as well:) Next week is the big week and hopefully we will see a heartbeat. It’s going to be a LONG week…
** Again this is my original post I kept in my drafts until I felt brave enough to post. I will continue to post updates and keep them in the original draft form they were created in and in attempt to speed things up to present day I will post the others a little sooner:)