The BIG One

It’s been a couple of weeks since I was released from Dr. F and since then I met with the Maternity Nurse at my OBGYN who went over all of the scary testing I will need to have done given my history and “advanced” maternal age…probably one of the few times the word “advanced” is not a good thing.  I also met with one of the doctors in the practice that I haven’t seen yet who I will refer to as the BEST OB ever for a woman coming off the heels of fertility treatments and multiple losses.

While I didn’t have an ultrasound, I got to hear the heartbeat for the first time and the nurse said it was 166 bpm which is great so I felt slightly relieved.  Now I am not one to cry in public or at happy occasions (I reserve my tears for the really bad stuff and in the privacy of my own home) but hearing the heartbeat was something I never thought I would ever hear.  As soon as the nurse left the room I started crying and was really trying to get myself together before the doctor came in but no such luck.  I think I gave him a slight panic attack when he walked in as he simply said “Oh God” and I quickly reassured him these were happy tears.  Apparently he hadn’t seen the nurse’s report from the heartbeat yet and wasn’t sure what he was walking into.

After my exam which I was NOT prepared for having nor was I prepared for a pap smear, he let me have back my dignity and get dressed and met with me in his office.  The first thing he said was “Our first priority is your mental well-being so if you need to come every week in order to reassured than that’s what we will do”  I started crying again because normally the once a week fertility visits quickly end when you “graduate” back to your OBGYN and you are left with weeks of not knowing and panic attacks.

This brings me to today…today is the day I go for our ultrasound at the hospital to make sure everything is measuring appropriately and look for indicators of chromosomal abnormalities.  They will also do noninvasive bloodwork which will be able to pick up the baby’s DNA to check all of the chromosomes.  I obviously have very mixed emotions right now…I am so excited to see our little one again but scared to death something will be wrong.  I know the only thing I can do is have faith that everything will be ok.  Hopefully I can post a good update in a few hours:)


**UPDATE:  The ultrasound went great!  The little one was moving around and all measurements were normal so no signs of any abnormalities at this time:)  I am a little more relieved and a little more relaxed but know we still have a long way to go.  My sequential screening bloodwork also came back and I screened negative.  I am just praying that all continues to go well!  I also broke down and bought my first pair of maternity jeans…my GOD why do they NOT make all jeans and pants with an elastic waist!!  They are wonderful and I am going to enjoy wearing them every minute:))


6 thoughts on “The BIG One

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