So What Do You Want to Do Next?

This seems to be the question of the day and quite honestly I have no clue.  Well that’s not entirely true…I have a few clues swirling around in my head but how do you know which one is the right one?  Anyone who is or has gone through infertility knows that this is the most difficult part…what do you want to do next?  Most often you are being asked this after you have just undergone a failed cycle or a failed pregnancy and usually after you have just pumped yourself full of hormones and/or spent a shitload of money…not a good combo!  But yet EVERYONE wants to know “what are you going to do next??”

Usually my approach to decision making is as follows: explore all of my options, see which ones sit better with me than others and usually one will eventually win out over the others and that’s the one I go with.  If I had all of the time in the world to decide this would be fine or if there wasn’t a whole other person in this equation aka my husband than this would be fine.  But time is not on my side and my husband’s feelings and opinions are just as important as mine and sometimes we don’t always agree.

My top three at the moment are as follows and in no particular order or maybe subconsciously they are:

1.  Continue trying either naturally or take the plunge into IVF

2.  Consider other options such as adoption

3.  Live our lives as is with no children of our own together

On any given day I could see myself in any one of these scenarios but that is the problem…it changes EVERY DAY!  My new Asian therapist, who I LOVE but haven’t thought of a nickname for her yet, has suggested that I shelve this decision until I am in a place where I can actually make a decision.  I am still grieving my losses and trying to heal.  My husband and I are trying to get back to just being a couple again and having fun.  I am a girl who likes  correction NEEDS a plan but every time I make a plan the fertility gods seem to laugh at that plan and say I don’t think so sister!  So for now my plan is no plan.

Some “helpful” advice we all just love in ecard format:

Gotta love it when struggling with infertility, people tell you, you can 'just adopt'. 'Cause it's so easy- I always have $30,000-$45,000 laying around, don't you?

I can't tell you how many times I was told this load of bull,,lol

You know what works best for me when I feel bad? When someone has no idea what I'm going through and tells me to get over it.

When you say everything happens for a reason, don't be surprised when I slap you in the face. It happened for a reason.