My Story and Welcome

If you are reading this you are either a fellow infertile, former infertile or a “sort of “infertile who isn’t ready to commit to that label just yet or you are a family member or friend of mine.  Regardless of who you are or why you came, I welcome you to my infertility blog with open arms.  I started this blog at the suggestion of my husband who thought it might help me to write about my feelings but more importantly to spread awareness and connect with others who are also on this crazy ride.  Being able to share stories, talk with others and just vent has been my lifeline on this journey.  Please feel free to comment, share stories or ask questions.  This blog is just as much yours as it is mine:)

Here is a timeline of our journey thus far:

January 2012- officially began “trying”

July 2012- got our first PREGNANT

August 2012- found out our 9 week ultrasound that our little one stopped developing around 6


September 7, 2012- had my 1st D&E

December 2012- got our second PREGNANT

January 2013- after weeks of bloodwork and ultrasounds it was confirmed I had a blighted ovum:(

January 3, 2013- had my 2nd D&E

February 2013- Began seeing our fertility doctor AKA Dr. F

March 2013- Clomid Challenge test…responded well so Dr. F recommended doing an IUI so we said sure!  IUI #1=fail

April 2013- all testing was normal BUT very low AMH level…official diagnosis: Poor Ovarian Reserve…my ovaries and I were not happy to hear that news!

June 2013- began injectable hormones Menopur for IUI #2 =fail

end of June 2013- had my first “meltdown” during my consultation with Dr. F to which he recommended I take a little break but offered to monitor me in a “natural cycle”

July 2013- got our third PREGNANT!

July 2013…two days later HCG levels confirm a chemical pregnancy:(

July 2013-October 2013- took a much needed break

October 2013- got our fourth PREGNANT!  Surprise!

October 2013…two days later another chemical pregnancy confirmed:(

November 2013- found an awesome support group through RESOLVE

December 31, 2013- Consultation with Dr. F who recommends IVF with chromosomal embryo screening but Aetna says oh no…you have to do 3 rounds of something else first before IVF and you have only done 2…BOOOOO!

****my insurance disclaimer: I teach in NJ therefore I have, according to Dr. F, “the Cadillac of fertility coverage!”  And yes I do feel VERY blessed to have this coverage and believe that ALL woman should have fertility coverage.  However this can also be a curse as it keeps you on this crazy ride for a lot longer than it sometimes should and makes it that much harder to know when enough is enough.  So I am not complaining by any means nor am I not appreciative but sometimes it just makes it harder to make the right treatment decisions.  Really Aetna I do love and appreciate you beyond words!***

January 2014- started another round of Menopur injectables for IUI #3=success!!  Our fifth PREGNANT!

February 2014- all looks good…HCG levels…fabulous!  4 week, 5 week and 6 week ultrasounds…fabulous!

March 2014- 7 week viability ultrasound…HEARTBEAT!  FABULOUS!!!

March 13, 2014- no heartbeat:(…not fabulous:(((

March 14, 2014- had my 3rd D&E

End of March 2014- started acupuncture and seeing my new Asian therapist

April 2014- genetic testing on our little one comes back showing an extra chromosome- trisomy 16

April 2014-present- I have no idea what we will do next…TBD


So this is where we are at now, that awful what the F do we do now? stage.  It sucks…


Some inspirational quotes that get me through and hopefully they will help you too:

You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. #infertility #inspiration #hope

Dear God,      I've tried my best, but if today I lose my hope please tell me that your plans are better than my dreams.                                           #infertility. I am so close, though .... each day gets harder ...